و قال الحسن البصري :(( إذا جالست فكن على أن تسمع أحرص منك على أن تقول , و تعلم حسن الاستماع كما تتعلم حسن القول , و لا تقطع على أحد حديثه )
Hasan al-Basri said, “When you sit with someone (to have a conversation), be more zealous to listen than to speak, and learn how to listen correctly as you learn how to speak correctly, and do not cut off anyone in his speech”
و قال معاذ بن سعد الأعور :(( كنت جالساً عند عطاء بن أبي رباح , فحدّث رجل بحديث , فعرّضَ رجلٌ من القومِ في حديثه , و قال : ما هذه الطباع ؟! , إني لأسمع الحديث من الرجل و أنا أعلم به , فأريه كأني لا أحسن شيئاً ))
Muadh bin Sa’d al- A’war narrated that he was sitting with Ataa’ bin Abee Rabaah, and a person began to narrate a narration. Then, a man from the people there interrupted his speech. Then, he (Ataa bin Abee Rabaah) said ‘what kind of behavior is this?! Verily I will listen to a narration from someone while I already know it. So, I’ll show him as if I don’t know anything (i.e. making himself humble)’
أوصي خالد بن يحيى ابنه , فقال : (( يا بُنيَّ , إذا حدَّثكَ جليسُكَ حديثاً فأقبل عليه ,و أصغِ إليه , ولا تقل : قد سمعته , و إن كنت أحفظ منه , فإن ذلك يكسبك المحبة و الميلَ إليك ))
Khaalid bin Yahya advised his son by saying, “O my son, if your companion informs you about a narration, then face him and listen to him, and do not say ‘I heard this already’ although you may be more memorized than him. (This is) for verily that produces for you (and him) love and (him having) an inclination towards you”
و قال ابنُ المقفّع :(( إذا رأيتَ رجلاً يحدث حديثاً قد علمته , أو يخبر خبراً قد سمعته , فلا تشارك فيه , و لا تتعقبه عليه حرصاً على أن يعلم الناس أنك قد علمتهُ , فإن ذلك خفة ٌ و سوء أدب و سخفٌ ))
Ibnul Muqafie said, “If you see a man narrate a narration you already know, or informs about news you already have heard of, then do not give your share to it, and do not follow it up with a comment out of zeal that the people come to know that you have knowledge of it. (You should not do this) for verily that is recklessness and bad manners and absurd”
Refeference: ‘The Etiquettes of having Conversations’ by Shaykh Faysal al-Haashidi.
A Side Note: The above advices should also be implemented on conversations which occur online inshaa Allah.
AbdulFattaah bin Uthman
سَعِيدًا الْمَقْبُرِيَّ يَقُولُ: مَرَرْتُ عَلَى ابْنِ عُمَرَ، وَمَعَهُ رَجُلٌ يَتَحَدَّثُ، فَقُمْتُ إِلَيْهِمَا، فَلَطَمَ فِي صَدْرِي فَقَالَ: إِذَا وَجَدْتَ اثْنَيْنِ يَتَحَدَّثَانِ فَلَا تَقُمُّ مَعَهُمَا، وَلَا تَجْلِسْ مَعَهُمَا، حَتَّى تَسْتَأْذِنَهُمَا، فَقُلْتُ: أَصْلَحَكَ اللَّهُ يَا أَبَا عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، إِنَّمَا رَجَوْتُ أَنْ أَسْمَعَ مِنْكُمَا خَيْرًاقال الشيخ الألباني : صحيح
Sa’id al-Maqburi said, ‘I passed by Ibn ‘Umar who had a man with him with whom he was having a conversation with. I went to them, and he struck me on the chest and said, ‘When you find two men conversing, do not go up to them nor sit with them until they give you permission.’ I said. ‘May Allah make you prosper, Abu ‘Abdu’r-Rahman. I hoped that I would hear something good from you.’
Shaykh Albany rahimahullah authenticates this narration.
AbdulFattaah bin Uthman
Added to what Abu Fajr mentioned:
عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، قَالَ حَدِّثِ النَّاسَ، كُلَّ جُمُعَةٍ مَرَّةً، فَإِنْ أَبَيْتَ فَمَرَّتَيْنِ، فَإِنَّ أَكْثَرْتَ فَثَلاَثَ مِرَارٍ وَلاَ تُمِلَّ النَّاسَ هَذَا الْقُرْآنَ، وَلاَ أُلْفِيَنَّكَ تَأْتِي الْقَوْمَ وَهُمْ فِي حَدِيثٍ مِنْ حَدِيثِهِمْ فَتَقُصُّ عَلَيْهِمْ، فَتَقْطَعُ عَلَيْهِمْ حَدِيثَهُمْ فَتُمِلُّهُمْ، وَلَكِنْ أَنْصِتْ، فَإِذَا أَمَرُوكَ فَحَدِّثْهُمْ وَهُمْ يَشْتَهُونَهُ، فَانْظُرِ السَّجْعَ مِنَ الدُّعَاءِ فَاجْتَنِبْهُ، فَإِنِّي عَهِدْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَأَصْحَابَهُ لاَ يَفْعَلُونَ إِلاَّ ذَلِكَ. يَعْنِي لاَ يَفْعَلُونَ إِلاَّ ذَلِكَ الاِجْتِنَابَ
Ibn `Abbas said, “Preach to the people once a week, and if you won’t, then preach them twice, but if you want to preach more, then let it be three times (a week only), and do not make the people fed-up with this Qur’an. If you come to some people who are engaged in a talk, don’t start interrupting their talk by preaching, lest you should cause them to be bored. You should rather keep quiet, and if they ask you, then preach to them at the time when they are eager to hear what you say. And avoid the use of rhymed prose in invocation for I noticed that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and his companions always avoided it.”
[Bukhari no. 6337]
Hafdih Ibn Hajr rahimahullah:
“In this Hadith is the dislike to preach to one who will not accept it and the prohibition to interrupt the speech of another and that it is not necessary to spread knowledge to one who is not eager for it”.
And Aisha radiallahu anha said:
إِذَا رَأَيْتَ قَوْمًا يَتَحَدَّثُونَ فَلا تَقْطَعْ حَدِيثَهُمْ
If you see people speaking, then do not interrupt their speech.
[Reported by al-Kharaaiti in Musaawi ul-Akhlaaq no. 545 pg.243 and graded Saheeh by the Muhaqiq of the book]
Faisal Ibn Abdul Qaadir Ibn Hassan
What is the meaning of, ‘And avoid the use of rhymed prose in invocation for I noticed that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and his companions always avoided it’? Can it be said that what is known as spoken word can be an example of this?
Hafidh Ibn Hajr rahimahullah said:
“al-Ghazali said, “The dislike in rhymed prose is the one that is an unnecessary burden because it does not befit beseeching [Allah] and [having] humiliation [for Him]. Otherwise, in some of the supplications that are reported, there are words that rhyme. However, they are not a burden. Al-Azhari said, verily the Prophet (ﷺ) disliked it because it resembles the speech of the fortune tellers as has comes in the story of the woman of Hudhayl” [Fathul-Bari (18/107)]
Shaikh Bin Baz rahimahullah said:
“I do not know of anything in this if there is no unnecessary burden. As for rhymed prose which has unnecessary burden then it is not necessary. So like this the Prophet dispraised the one who did rhymed prose. He (ﷺ) said:
هذا سجع كسجع الكهان
This is the rhymed prose of the rhymed prose of the fortuneteller
[Reported in Muslim with a different wording]
In the Hadith of Haml ibn an-Naabigha al-Hudhali. However, if the rhymed prose does not have unnecessary burden, then it occurred in the speech of the Prophet (ﷺ) and in the speech of the good people. So rhymed prose that is not burdensome, there is no harm in it. If it is to support the truth or in a permissible affair. Repeating supplications regarding Paradise or Hell-fire and moving the hearts, all of that is something desired in the Legislation”.
So spoken word is not intended here.
And Allah Knows Best
Faisal Ibn Abdul Qaadir Ibn Hassan