A wife is dealing with a situation where her husband takes on two more wives while he has her on the kuffar welfare and government housing system. Her husband is struggling financially so she has to take care of most of her needs while he provides for the needs of his other two wives including one of the other wives who also receives government assistance. She tried her hardest to advise her husband about being just but he doesn’t listen. He just tells her that she has a problem with accepting the qadr. Please advise on how a wife deals with such a situation.
The advice that I would give is that your husband should be just in dealing with his wives and that he provides for each to the best of ability. It is his responsibility to provide for each one of you to the best of his ability as the Prophet sallahu alayhi wa salam said:
كفى بالمرء إثمًا أن يضيع من يقوت
Neglecting one’s own dependents is a reason enough for a man to commit a sin
[Saheeh Sunan Abi Dawood no. 1692]
If you and another wife are on social assistance, then I would advise that you ensure that you are collecting that money rightly. That is, that you mention in the application that you are married and the same applies for the other wife.
Shaikh Bin Baz rahimahullah was asked:
Is social security/assistance allowed for the one who does not have a need for it?
“That which we know is that the government, may Allah facilitate for them, gives social security/assistance to the poor who do not have anything and who meet the conditions for taking it. And it is not for him to lie. Verily the one who is from its people can take social assistance and meets the desired conditions. As for the one who lies and claims to be poor or she claims that she does not have a husband and she has a husband and what resembles that, then he should not take that. The conclusion is that it is not allowed to take social assistance except the one who meets the conditions which the government has placed. This is obligatory. It is obligatory to fear Allah and be cautious of taking what is not allowed for him. And in Allah aid is sought”
I am not familiar with the social assistance conditions if they allow for a person to register more than one wife, however, you should ensure that you make it clear you are married.
If you are receiving the social assistance, it does not mean your husband does not spend on you. He must still spend equally on you as he spends on the other wives, even if one is not on social assistance. This is because the money you receive from social assistance is not given to you from your husband and he must give each of his wives equal money. The Lajnah passed a fatwa on this here.
Understandably, it would be very difficult for the husband to provide for all three of you equally. Nonetheless, he must. However, if this is difficult and you know this, you can waive your right to financial obligation, which will no longer make it obligatory upon him. The Lajnah passed a fatwa on this here.
Considering that you and the other wife receive financial assistance from the government, it may take a burden off your husband and make him have more time to treat you with justice. This is something to consider. Otherwise, he must provide for all of you and my advice is that he fears Allah and you continue to advise him.
All of this is simply my advice. I would suggest you take the issue to the Scholars so they can answer your question in more detail and advise your husband about his affairs.
May Allah guide us to that which is most correct.
Faisal Ibn Abdul Qaadir Ibn Hassan